The Other Side of Suffering

Ki Tavo – 2011

When a parent spanks a child that he loves, there is no joy in that process to the parent.  This has given rise to the old saying “Son, this is going to hurt me a whole lot more than you.”  Because the parent has love for the child, he disciplines.  But also, because the parent has love for the child, he hurts with the child as the child hurts.

Today, we come to a portion that contains 98 curses, or 98 spankings, that God will administer to Israel for their correction.  Let us stop and think for a moment about how God feels while these disciplines are being enforced.  Because we cannot begin to fathom His love for us, we also never stop to think that He is enduring incredible suffering right along with us as we suffer.

Using the holocaust as an example, was God blind to the suffering of His people in the gas chambers?  No.  He was right there with His people suffering right along with them.  In fact, His suffering was more intense, for what parent would not gladly take the place of his child in such a situation.  The parent’s suffering is much less if the parent has to endure the gas chambers than if the parent has to sit by helplessly and watch his child endure the same.

Which brings us to a realization:  God is even more ready for the Messianic age, when all suffering ends and is revealed for what it is, than we are!  He also “groans” for the creation to be restored.  But then this leads us to another question:  Since He is God and can snap His fingers and make it happen, what is He waiting on?

The answer to that question becomes obvious when we think back and remind ourselves why we are here in the first place and why there is suffering in the first place.

In the deepest sense, we are here to fight a battle with our evil inclinations and overcome them. That is the whole reason for our existence in this era…. To be refined and to in turn refine the world by being a light.  That is how we reconnect to God is by CHOOSING Him over our evil inclinations.  By allowing Him to refine us.  Like Isaac, by allowing Him to put us on the altar of sacrifice which is not pleasant!

So, if our whole existence here is to simply reconnect with Him, then there must be a valid choice, two equally attractive options, or else there is no choice at all and we are simply robots.  But with the valid option of following our evil inclinations, there also enters the game this idea of suffering.  Why?  Because choosing the evil inclination, which separates us from God, by default, brings in suffering to the game.  For in its deepest sense, suffering is simply being separated from God.  Every other kind of suffering is simply a different subset of this greater definition of suffering.

So, suffering, or as today’s portion terms it “curses,” are much more than simply punishments for us doing wrong.

When we are in school, we are told some things in the first grade that, though they are true, by the time we get to the 12^th grade, we realize that our understanding of that concept was shallow.  This is the natural growth process.  Likewise, in our understanding of God, we read the 98 curses in today’s portion and we understand (at the first grade level) that if we stray from God, we will get punished.  Reward and punishment, though true, are elementary concepts of our relationship with God.  He wants us to see much deeper.  He wants us to see that just like a parent who doesn’t want lazy fat children, He has blessings AND curses.  He always wants to give us blessings, but blessings are not always what are the most beneficial to us in the big picture view. There is a balance. 

THIS era is about our growth and learning to overcome our evil inclinations and blessings are not always conducive to that process.  Therefore there has to be curses/suffering/pain.  And they are not there for punishment or because God is mad, but because He cares.  He loves us and he wants us to graduate so that we can become fully grown and stand in front of Him as equals and have relationship.

What parent does not long for the day when their child is grown and they can have a fully adult relationship?  What mother, after a day with kids, does not long for adult conversation at the end of the day?  And that is what God wants, but THIS ERA we are in now is all about growing us to that point and only then can the Messianic era begin.

So, it appears then, that if the Messianic era is being held back, then the reason is because WE are not ready for it yet.  He wants it to happen now even more than we do, but it is our lack of development that is holding it back.* 

In Hebrew the word for suffering is “zorah.”  But those letters rearranged form the word for “light,” which is “zohar.”  What is the lesson?  In our greatest trials and sufferings we see the greatest light, and it is being able to see the light AND BE THE LIGHT that our whole walk is about.  And when we get to the point that we can, from the heart, thank Him for our sufferings and see them for what they really are, His greatest expressions of love, THEN we be ready for the Messianic Era.

“Zoar” also means “a narrow place.”  Although our suffering feels like it has constrained us, we will see in the end, that it was nothing but a big old tight hug from our Father.  What is the difference between an earthy father giving a hug or a spanking?  Nothing.  Both are expressions of love.

To everything there is a season.  A season for blessings…..and a season for curses.   There is a season for suffering, that’s this era, and a season for bliss, that’s the Messianic era.  Of course we long for that era, but we have to complete the job in this era first.  There’s no shortcuts!

So, if, in a sense, we are not suffering for our own doings, then these things are preordained, then why bother repenting when we do wrong?  Why not just adopt a fatalistic attitude and say “whatever will be will be?” 

The answer to that is this.  Because the whole idea of repenting is not to avoid punishment or get a reward (that’s true, but it is first grade level stuff).  The whole idea of keeping the commandments is because they are the Truth and that’s what He wants from me, and I should repent when I don’t keep them because I have hurt Him, myself, others and all of creation.  I have fallen short in my calling to elevate creation and bring light into the darkness and I should feel sorrow for that.

When we keep a commandment we bring light into the darkness.  WHY or HOW does not eating pork do that?  I do not know.  All I know is that He says it does. 

This is like the child that makes a drawing for his parent.  It is worthless.  It couldn’t be sold on ebay for even a dollar.  But to the parent it is priceless.  It has value.  And so are the commandments.  They only have value because God says they do.  To everyone else, they seem to have no value, like the kid’s drawing.  Had God said that pork is okay but beef is forbidden, then the observance of THAT commandment would bring light into the world.  How?  I do not know, I just know that it does because He says it does.  It has value because HE says it has value.  And when I fail to keep the commandments I should be repenting not out of fear of curses, but out of sorrow for not making the drawing that my Father cherishes so much.

In your mind’s eye, picture God in heaven with us before our souls are placed into our mother’s womb.  And He tells us “I am sending you to a dark place where you can prove yourself.  Where you can demonstrate your love to me.”

“How will I do that God?” we ask.

“I am going to give you a list of do’s and don’ts to observe.  They will be contrary to what you want to do.  You won’t always be able to figure out the “why” behind them.  Just do them.  But understand that when you do them, they will make no sense to anyone else, only to me. THEN, I will know that you love me, because I will know that the ONLY reason you are doing them is because you love me.  I will know that you are not doing them simply to get a blessing or avoid a curse, because quite often, you won’t even understand some of the things I am asking you to do.  You will simply be doing them because I asked you.”

Now, with the above dialogue in mind, repentance of falling short should take on a much deeper meaning.  It’s personal.  It’s intimate.  It’s about relationship.  Punishment and reward is first grade stuff compared to this. 

So, in conclusion, “Why keep kosher?  Why observe Sabbath? Etc. etc. etc.”  Because it makes Him happy.  And why does it make Him happy?  Because it’s also good for me and every parent wants his child to choose what is best for him.

****************************** 

*This insight can also help us quickly spot the fallacy in the rapture doctrine.  He isn’t about to split the sky any moment.  He wants to, but something is holding Him back.  What is holding Him back?  Our evil inclination which has yet to be conquered.  A sudden return rapture cuts short the whole process that we are here for in the first place.  Of course, we can see why our flesh wants to believe in the rapture, because it relieves our suffering.  And we can also see that it is a doctrine born out of the flesh and not the Truth.

2 Thess 2:7   For the mystery of iniquity doth already work: only he who now letteth will let, until he be taken out of the way.

Who is it in the above verse that has to be “taken out of the way” before the Messianic Era can commence?  Your evil inclination!  YOU!  Not Satan.  Not the Holy Spirit.  Not your mother in law.  YOU!